It doesn't matter that you have nothing to say, and it doesn't matter that the words aren't coming to you. Maybe you don't have an elaborately specific outline with carefully plotted bullet points all festooned together, real neat and tidy like, ready to be conjured up on a whim once you set forth writing. Nor do you perhaps possess a clever hook with which to entice your readers and successfully snag their attention, pushing them past the boundary of difficult indecision which is those first couple of lines.
Perhaps you believe that you have nothing to say.
You have no opinions to share, no insights to expound upon. You possess no observations on the world surrounding you, nor questions inspired by said observations. You wonder nothing, are surprised by nothing, expect nothing. You accept everything in life as it is, the good and the bad, and don't care whether anyone else cares.
You alone are perfectly indifferent to the world.
If this is you, shame on you for lying through your teeth.
Everyone feels something. We, as human beings, have a habit of not only tuning out our emotions, our inner voices, our conscience, our instincts, our intuition, (or whatever else it is you may call it), but also of constantly fighting to disguise these thoughts and emotions as something else, hence writing them off as unimportant or unnecessary.
I had a Language Arts teacher in high school who once made the argument that indifference was the greatest evil that could possibly exist in the world.
If in truth you really are villainous in the most realistic sense--lack utter human compassion, take pleasure in the suffering of other creatures, or hate with an animosity worthy of the insatiable burning of hell- then you are only guilty of being human. To feel nothing, nothing at all, and to care for nothing, not even oneself's self-preservation or pleasure is inhuman in every possible sense. A man who feels nothing and cares for nothing has nothing to prove and nothing to lose. No desire, no ambition, no reason. No fear, no reward, no resolution. A man of this sort would be merely a shell of a man; an empty nothing.
It seems that as of late, I am consistently barraged by a smothering wall of combination lethargy, exhaustion, and indifference so intense that I find myself fighting an internal war of universal proportions just to retain a minimal amount of cohesiveness throughout any given day.
Anxiety is normal. Natural. In many scenarios, beneficial, in fact.
Anxiety disorder, on the other hand, is slowly stealing my humanity.
It's just past week six of fall term, and already the renewal of spirit I associated with the change of pace that accompanies the start of a new school year has all but dissipated.
Figures.
I do, however, have this new piece of concept art to share with you all that I completed at the start of this past summer.
This is an experimental style of digital artwork based on an older concept sketch that had been nearly forgotten in one of my many numerous stacks of sketchbooks and heaps of loose leaf paper. It took approximately 9 hours to complete. I had no tablet or pen to help quicken the process, only an old wired mouse.
At any rate, the advice to just start-- regardless of what, exactly-- is absolute brilliance. Especially if you are struggling with your own inner demons, exerting the will power necessary to take a single small step like deciding to do something (just deciding, not necessarily doing it mind you) is sometimes all it takes.
At this point, the genius thought occurred to me to record the drawing process so I could put it on YouTube to share with you all. I've always waned to start a YouTube channel for either art or video game-related junk, and I finally decided to pursue it.
You gotta start somewhere, right?
I'm not expecting to get internet famous or anything silly like that; I just want a new visual outlet through which to share my art and get others involved with what I create. Video seemed like a good way to get that done.
So check it out below: the first speedpaint in what will hopefully become a series of many.
I've been making some changes to our lovely little blog here (some more substantial than others), and you can expect further ongoing renovations in the future. It's slowly getting where it needs to be (or rather, where I want it) piece by piece.
I recently joined DrawCrowd, and have to admit I personally am rather disappointed with it thus far.
I recommend fellow artists and creatives check it out, and let me know what you think. Am I, shall we say, "jumping the shark" with my opinion?
You can check out my Draw Crowd Profile here, or you can go to Draw Crowd and search for artist "Krystal Dawn."
All right, that's it for now. I've let this post run on quite long enough, don't you think? There are many more improvements I hope to apply to this blog before the new year, and I hope to get posts back on something that at least vaguely resembles a regular schedule.
See you all soon! :)
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